so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
