Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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