He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
