only if we run a train.
done.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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