It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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