I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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