This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
be right there i have to get my cape
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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