try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im six kinds of drunk right now
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
