I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
