that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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