dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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