My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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