god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
