Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
