He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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