the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
