how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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