You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
