he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
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I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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