I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
