just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
