dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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