When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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