if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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