He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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