sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
