she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
