i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize