How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
