This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
