Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
