garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
