is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
