is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Welp...herpes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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