dude i'm inner monologue high
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
