meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
