You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
