if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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