let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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