Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
