I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm getting married
To pizza
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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