this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
