you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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