Michael Bay diarrhea
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
