I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
