Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
