I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
