i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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