Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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