I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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