garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We have started to decorate penises.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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