love makes seman taste better
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am available for nakedness
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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