I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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