dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
