My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
