I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So many bounce houses so little time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
