Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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