Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
