names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize